For each installment of the 31 Days In The Life of A Single Working Mom series, I will feature an interview with a single working mom.
Each day in October, we will gain insights into the life of a single mom and specifically learn what she does to keep it all together and stay encouraged!
Today’s featured mom is Tanisha!
Tell us about your family:
I am an unwed (not single) mother of two fantastic children, Phazhon age 18 and Sanii age 13. I do not refer to myself as a “single mother” because our society views that label as being a mother without support of the other parent or family.
Truth is that my children have a great father that is active in their life as well as grandparents and extended family and friends who assist in guiding them into adulthood.
Where do you live?
I reside in North County of Roanoke, VA.
What do you do for a living?
I am an Assistant Principal at a local school. I am also a part-time Clinical Social Worker at Lewis Gale Behavioral Health in Salem, VA and an Adjunct Professor at a local college.
What is your typical day like?
I start my day with Thanking God for another opportunity to “get it right.” I try to take a moment to meditate (deep breathing and prayer) followed by making sure my kids are up and getting ready for school.
They do not require much from me, therefore I can shower, dress, do my hair and make-up, followed by work until 4ish (on a good day).
After I escape the building, my day really begins with errands for myself and often my mother, other appointments, meetings on occasion, providing taxi services for my children (as they are just as busy with sports, scouts, and church activities), going back home, laundry, dinner, and bed…at some point.
What were the circumstances which led to you being an unwed/single mother?
My children’s father and I chose not to be married.
What’s the best thing about being a working mom? What’s the hardest thing?
The best thing about being a working mom, is the opportunity I have to model for other women that it can be done! I truly have a testimony about how good God is and how you can do it all if you have a drive and desire stronger than your worst obstacle.
The hardest thing is that at times I struggle to get it all in within 24 hours!
How do you handle day to day responsibilities (meals, laundry, cleaning, chauffeuring kids, Dr. appointments, school meetings, etc.)?
So many people ask me, how I juggle it all while maintaining a clean house, clean car, and organized office. LOL!
I teach my kids the importance of organization and they help with household chores. My son loves to do laundry, for example.
They have responsibilities and I seize the quiet moments to stay ahead. That includes pre-planning of meals and laundry on a daily basis, to avoid the overwhelming Saturday laundry session!
I keep a calendar on my desk that I update and check daily. I set goals for each day and I take time for self-care to make sure I am better able to stay focused and healthy.
What struggles do you experience as a single mom?
To be honest, I do not experience the struggles typical of being a single mom. I have an amazing support system and my children’s father is very involved in their lives. We do a pretty good job of coparenting.
Are you able to be vulnerable and authentic with anyone regarding the struggles of being a single mom? If so, who and when?
Yes..primarily with my close friends and family..people with whom I have an intimate relationship.
What one or two thing(s) keep you up at night?
Actually, I’m a night owl so I prefer to be up at night. During the night is when I completely my household chores and catching up on things I wasn’t able to complete during the day!
Oh, if mean what things I worry about, to be honest…I don’t worry.
Are you currently dating or in a relationship?
I am dating.
Would you like to be married?
Yes, I want to be married, if God sends me my Boaz, I’m willing.
If you are dating or in a relationship, how do you fit your partner into your presumably busy life?
It’s difficult fitting someone else in, with my busy schedule. You have to plan ahead and date someone who is as busy as you are.
When (if ever) do/did you introduce your kids to your significant other?
I typically only introduce my kids when I know the relationship has potential for something significant in my life.
What do you miss most about being in a relationship or marriage (if you were married)?
I miss the consistency…knowing what to expect of someone simply because you have history with them and you really know them.
What are your top 3 – 5 tips for keeping everything together?
My top four are: Prayer, honesty, self- care and having good people around you to help you stay balanced.
- Pray every day for peace and the ability to do your best.
- Always be honest about who you are and what you can do. “You can only be who you are, nobody else.”
- As women, we are guilty of putting ourselves last and not taking the time for ourselves. You DO NOT have to look like what you have been through!
- Lastly, have good friends and family members around you who truly love you and who can “pull your coat tail,” if needed.
What are your dreams for yourself and for your children?
- I want my kids to be honest and happy.
- It is important for them to know who they are in Christ and that they continue their relationship with Christ.
- For all of us, I pray for spiritual, emotional and physical health!
What one lesson do you want your child(ren) to learn from your journey as a unwed mom?
The one lesson I want my children to learn is that there are no limits…so long as you are dedicated, motivated and remain close to God everything is achievable.
Is there anything else you’d like to add that you think would encourage other working moms?
To sum it all up, I am a Black Woman who loves God, her children and family (friends included), who happens to be an unwed working mom.
Life is about balance and if I could give one piece of advice for other working moms, it would again to be honest!!
Honest about who you are, what you can do, what you can’t do, what you like and do not like and what you want.
What tips or words of wisdom from Tanisha’s journey, did you find helpful to use in your own journey?
If YOU would like to be featured, send an email to LC@alifeofauthenticity.com. If all of the October spots have been filled, I will feature your interview in a continued series.