For each installment of the 31 Days In The Life of A Single Working Mom series, I will feature an interview with a single working mom.
Each day in October, we will gain insights into the life of a single mom and specifically learn what she does to keep it all together and stay encouraged!
Today’s featured mom is Samantha.
Tell us about yourself and your child(ren) (# of children, gender and ages).
I’m the founder and editor of RichSingleMomma.com and SMILES (a financial and digital literacy nonprofit to empower single moms to increase their quality of life and economic stability). I am a forty-something year old mom of two children; a daughter (21) and a son (17) who was just diagnosed as autistic.
Where do you live?
We live in Atlanta, GA.
What do you do for a living?
I’m a technical consultant, trainer, and instructional designer.
How do you fit blogging into the mix (if it’s not your “day job”)?
Blogging fits into the mix of work and parenting quite easily. I work from home so I’m able to alternate tasks as needed. Additionally, I write in the mornings before work and occasionally after work.
How long have you been a single mom? What were the circumstances which lead you to become a single mom?
I’ve been a single mom for 21 years. I was unmarried when I got pregnant by the man I thought I was going to marry.
Is your child(ren)’s father(s) involved; are you able to co-parent your child(ren)? What does that look like?
There is little to no involvement with their fathers. My daughter’s father was military and lived in various places so he was not available much of the time. He visited her once or twice a year. He and I have made a few decisions together. Now that she is older they have their own relationship. My son’s father has never been in the picture so he’s had no involvement.
What is your typical day like?
My day starts at 5am, I wake up and spend time in meditation and prayer to prepare for a successful day. I turn on my work laptop then get breakfast and shower before starting work. Next I may complete a few tasks, teach classes, or attend meetings by Skype. I supervise my homeschooled son. Depending on my schedule, I may take a call from a potential new account for my blog, respond to a Help A Reporter Out (HARO) for press, or post on social media. I have lunch (usually prepared by my son) then finish my work day.
After work I read, cook dinner sometimes, and hang out with my kids. Later in the evening I’ll watch something on Netflix or YouTube. Throughout the day I may talk with my mom or sister. Sometimes I help people with tech issues. (I’m seriously thinking about opening a tech support center.)
How do you handle day to day responsibilities (meals, laundry, cleaning, chauffeuring kids, Dr. appointments, school meetings, etc.)?
I put all my appointments on my Google calendar so I keep track of everything. I put the arrival time in the Waze app so I know when I need to leave for appointments. My kids know how to cook, do their laundry, and clean so I rarely do that anymore. I supervise (or remind them) when necessary.
What’s the best thing about being a single mom? What’s the hardest thing?
The best thing about being a single mom is the amount of influence I have over their lives. Parenting is a ministry for me so I get to shape their lives and their futures by my standards. I love seeing their growth as far as maturity and spirituality. The hardest thing was feeling overwhelmed when they were smaller. I took on the belief that I had to do it all to succeed. Later I learned that I just had to do a few things well and let others be a part of our lives to fill in the spaces I could not cover. I let go of perfection and embraced good enough.
What struggles do you experience as a single mom?
Wanting to make sure my kids have everything they need and that they don’t become a statistic (pregnant and/or in jail).
Are you able to be vulnerable and authentic with anyone regarding the struggles of being a single mom If so, who and when?
Yes. I have a best friend and a sister that I’m able to confide in. They have been great sources of strength over the years.
What one or two thing(s) keep you up at night?
Whether to quit my job to pursue my dreams. How will my autistic son manage in life. Those are the two things I may lose an hour or two over but for the most part I sleep soundly. I know God has everything under control!
Are you currently dating or in a relationship?
No I am not currently dating or in a relationship yet.
Would you like to be married?
I would eventually like to be married. Having a friend, lover, and partner whom I can admire, respect, and share life with would be amazing! 🙂
When (if ever) do/did you introduce your kids to your significant other?
If that person is a part of our church they have probably already met him. If not, I didn’t introduce until after a few dates if I felt it was getting serious.
Do you ever get lonely? If so, when and what do you do about it?
I get lonely sometimes but my life is full. I will talk to God about it and ask Him to send someone at the right time.
What do you miss most about being in a relationship or marriage (if you were married)?
The companionship, sense of belonging, and intimacy.
What are your top 3(or more) tips for keeping everything together?
- Stop trying to keep everything together.
- Find out who you are and live life authentically.
- Write things down to keep your head clear and to remember important things. You simply cannot contain all the things to do, kid’s stuff, and work in your head all the time.
If you believe in prayer, what three things do you pray about regularly?
- Peace in my life and home
- Safety for my children
- Love for humanity
What are your dreams for yourself and for your children?
My dream for myself and my children are to travel the world, they launch out safely and emotionally secure in the world. I meet the man of my dreams and we build an empire together.
What one lesson do you want your child(ren) to learn from your journey as a single mom?
I want them to learn to love themselves enough to choose a better path than I did.
Is there anything else you’d like to add that you think would encourage other single moms?
Single motherhood is a single journey in a life of many journeys but it may be the most important journey of self-discovery. Learn each lesson as they come and do your best not to regret, despise, or wish you had a different life. Find your authentic self and be honest with your children about the challenges. Take time for yourself, pray for the right support group, and allow time to heal all your wounds. Know you will make it no matter what.
Above all, cherish the time you have with your children because the years will fly by and the next thing you know, they will be adults. Love on them and most of all love yourself. Peace and blessings!
Where to find Samantha online:
Blog: RichSingleMomma.com is a personal finance, parenting, and personal growth blog for single moms who are ready to thrive and not just survive.
What tips or words of wisdom from Samantha’s journey, did you find helpful to use in your own journey?
Let me know in the comments below. If you have an extra moment, head over to Samantha’s website or YouTube channel and show her some love!
If YOU would like to be featured, send an email to LC@alifeofauthenticity.com. If all of the October spots have been filled, I will feature your interview in a continued series.