What is it about budding relationships…you want to know EVERYTHING about your new boo, but there is always such apprehension about asking certain questions.
You let a few months go by, asking only the superficial questions for fear that he’ll accuse you of prying or being nosy if you ask more probing questions.
When you first started dating, you did the 411-research discussed here, but there is so much more to know…and the relationship is getting serious.
You and he agree that the purpose of dating at this stage in your life is marriage. So you are on the same page!
But before you tie the knot or jump the broom let’s acknowledge a few of the tough topics you should tackle now…like finances, past relationships, character, and family.
The subject of finances is the first installment of a four-part series on tough questions to ask your significant other before marriage!
Does this sound familiar…
You have been dating for several months and things are going really well. But there have been signs that you may have a difference of opinion on money matters.
At first, it’s his cheap stake tendencies when tipping at restaurants; even though the service and food were very good.
Then it was his bi-weekly wash and detail of his 2015 Nissan Altima which costs $100 a pop.
Or the fact that he has a roommate who lives in the basement.
Or spent his Christmas bonus on an impromptu trip with his boys to Vegas.
What does all this really mean?
Before you go any further in the relationship you must discuss finances.
But, you don’t want it to feel like an inquisition.
Try and make it a game or if you are able to touch upon these questions organically then do so.
Either way, if you see a future with this guy you want to ensure that you can accept his perspectives on money.
Money issues are one of the top three causes of divorce in America. So, let’s do what you can to start off on the right foot.
KNOW THE ANSWER TO THESE FINANCIAL QUESTIONS BEFORE GETTING TOO SERIOUS:
- Do you live within your means or beyond your means?
- Are you a spender or saver? Do you have an emergency fund or savings?
- Do you budget your money by itemizing your income against your expenses? Is that budget written down or is it ‘all in your head’?
- What is your FICO score?
- How many revolving credit cards do you have? Are you currently carrying a balance on any? If so how much?
- Do you have student loans? How much? Are you paying them off? What’s your payoff target date?
- Do you file taxes annually or quarterly (if you own a business)? Do you typically owe the government, get a refund or break even?
- What is your position on prenuptial agreements?
- Are there any bankruptcies, foreclosures, suits, wage attachments, liens or judgments on your credit report?
- What is your plan for getting out of debt? Or staying out of debt?
- Do you have a retirement plan? 401k? IRA? Investment property? Other?
- Do you have any outstanding personal or business loans not reflected on a credit report?
- Do you gamble (beyond the occasional lottery)? If so, how frequently? What do you typically bet on? What’s the most you’ve lost on one bet?
- Are you current on your child support? Do you have an education fund set up for your kids?
- Do you carry life insurance? Disability insurance? Car insurance? Are your payments up to date or paid in full for the year?
No matter how awkward it may be to have frank conversations with your partner, you must push past awkward if you are considering a future with this person.
It is far better to walk into a marital relationship fully informed with your eyes wide open than blissfully in love and ignorant! Oh, and be prepared to answer these same questions when the tables reverse!
Let’s tackle the tough topics head on!
I want to hear from you…did you discuss finances with your partner prior to getting serious?
Are there any questions that I left out?